Three Bookstores, No Book

or, The Continuing Confessions of a Recovering Bookaholic

Today, I actually took the time to leave my perch in front of my laptop for 7 hours in order to meet up and have dinner with a good friend. Said dinner was to take place in a mall here in Metro Manila. If you know the malls here, you'd know they are humongous, with each one boasting of 2-4 bookstores (not counting the magazine stores).

Anyway, the mall we were going to is beside another more humongous mall. On days when I can be found in either mall, I usually drop by both to pass by every bookstore I can find. That comes to around 7 bookstores. Today, given the limited time I had before I was to meet up with said friend (around 2 hours), I stuck to only one mall and went to three bookstores in that mall.

Before I made the unconscious/conscious decision not to give in anymore to book binging, I frequented all the bookstores I could find. After I had made the decision, ... I still frequented all the bookstores I could find. I continue to frequent all my usual haunts and to explore undiscovered bookstores (I have one new bookstore to check out, thanks to my blogging friend, Peter).

How exactly does putting oneself in temptation's immediate path help with my resolution not to buy more books than I can realistically read? It doesn't. But I like the game. And frankly, whether I come out with a book (or two) or not, spending time in a bookstore relaxes me.

But back to the game...What game is this? The game of finding out whether I will come out empty-handed or not. I win if I come out empty-handed.

Many people might say, "But acquiring a new book means that you enrich your mind, so that's a greater victory!" I do not dispute that, except on this count--it depends on the book. Also, the context of this game is that I have roughly 150 unread books at the time of this writing and continuing on my book acquisition spree will soon become unsustainable.

So, the question I want to address is this--can a bookaholic enter a bookstore and not buy a book? And, should a recovering bookaholic even bother entering a bookstore?

My answers are obvious in the previous paragraphs. Question no. 1, yes. After all, before my book buying spree which began a couple of years ago, this bookaholic always entered a bookstore and often came out without a single book. The trick? Not sure, but it has something to do with an act of will.


I've identified certain stages that I go through when I enter a bookstore with the intent of just perusing and not buying.

Stage 1: The Goal-setting stage

This is when I tell myself, while I'm walking towards the store and before I actually enter the portals, that I'm going to go there just to look and that I won't actually buy anything because I have too many books already, all of which I find interesting and all of which are waiting to be read. (The mantra changes from time to time. Sometimes, it's 'I want to go out with friends next weekend, so I can't blow my budget on a book.')

Stage 2: Preliminary Browsing

This is when I browse through the books on the display tables. The important attitude to take during this stage is one of detachment. For instance, you walk around the display tables, pick up the books, and think to yourself, "Oh, I know this book. Looks interesting," but mean it in a totally platonic way. The walk should be leisurely, not tense or hurried, since the hurried walk tends to suggest that you fear the books in case they draw you in. However, you shouldn't walk too leisurely either, so much so that you give a book undue time, therefore allowing it to draw you in. At this stage, never show the books your fear.

Stage 3: The false comfort zone

In this stage, you move on from the display tables to the actual shelves, and you're feeling pretty good about yourself because you haven't felt the urge to actually buy any book. You're thinking, "This is easy. I'm not even going to sweat this out."

Stage 4: The Whopper

Just when you think you've sufficiently mastered yourself without effort and can peruse the shelves in comfort, you come across that one book (or two or ten), that's been on your wishlist for a while. You take a look at the price tag (price sometimes being your main determiner) and think, "That's not so bad. I can get that." You hang on to the book/s and contemplate that perhaps one (or two or ten) book(s) won't do much harm to your resolution. And besides, you're due for a book anyway.

Stage 5: The Great Refusal

You look at the book/s you're holding and you think, "Hmm, do I really need this? As in, REALLY? Right now? Will I die if I don't get it at this moment?" Invariably, the answer is no (at least to the last question). And so, once you realize that the acquisition of the book is not life or death, and the book is likely to be there the next time you come back, and, if it isn't, you still have dozens of others you need to read anyway, your better nature takes a hold of you, and you put the book down (preferably from where you picked it up in the first place).

Stage 6: The Compromise

You go the the stationary section and buy yourself a pen or post-its or a little notebook or any knick-knack that you need (if not immediately, then in the very near future), just to assuage your buying inclination.

Please note that these stages are only for when you actually decide not to buy a book when entering a bookstore. Which brings me to the second question--should a recovering bookaholic even attempt to enter a bookstore when he/she has foresworn the buying of books until Mt. TBR becomes a mere speedbump?

I say yes. For the reason I already stated above. A bookworm will love just being in the presence of books. We can bask in them, drink in their smell, touch their glossy or matte covers, rub the pages between our fingers, and already, we are happy. Besides, I'm not completely foreswearing buying books. I just don't want to buy them in abundance as I used to. For this kind of addiction, I don't believe that going completely cold turkey is advisable, because the object of addiction is truly enriching. Providing it is read.

So, aside from my program of abstinence, how else do I intend to sustain my resolution? Actually, I have revived my habit of bringing a small notebook of my wishlisted books wherever I go. So, when I see a book I want, instead of buying it right away, I list it down in my notebook to return to it at an appropriate time. Makes for a longer wishlist now, but no skin off my back--I like making lists.

Also, I still intend to buy books. Only 1 or 2 per month though, a great difference from my previous average of 24 books per month. This is so I don't go prematurely aged or insane.

Again, this is a personal choice of mine. But if any of you would like to support or join my endeavor, you'd be entirely welcome. Actually, you might even have different stages of your own. Do share them, since they might be for the greater good.

After all, as a bookaholic, I can stop from buying books. But I can't stop from reading.

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